“What To do & What not to do” / Living and Relationships

Child Support? The mother of my child is trying to control my life, by threatening me.

You have a child with a woman you clearly have no interest in, though you tend to go the extra mile to feed her ego and cater to her demands. Why? At any given moment, she can file a few papers that force you to do something with legal consequences that you are obviously doing, which is supporting your child. What’s wrong with that?

The effects of being put on child support

It isn’t a problem taking care of your child, which you are clearly doing, it is the underlying circumstances surrounding it, “THE CONTROL”. It can be very embarrassing and insulting for another “man” to tell you to how to take care of your child and how much it will cost you to do so, but what makes it worse is when you know you are already doing it. This can damage a man’s pride, and in some instances, have future negative effects on his relationship with his child, especially when the child is unaware of the reason he is paying child support.

What some men feel they have to do

Some men think they have to give her what she wants, even though it clearly has nothing to do with “fathering”. How? By giving into her unnecessary requests to make her feel secure, never allowing his phone to ring more than once, visit her when she wants him to, have sexual relations with her, be in a relationship, hide or not allow the child around a current girlfriend, give her money the very second she demands it, go grocery shopping with her, do family events, and regularly call a “baby” whose only words are “waaaahhhhh”, so she can engage in conversation. Sound familiar?

What can you do about it?

1.       Never give her cash, only money orders or cashier’s checks

2.       Keep copies of money order receipts

3.       Buy the necessities for your child and hold on to all receipts, no matter the amount

4.       Record the date and times that you spend with your child

5.       Keep record of dates, times, and what was discussed with “HER”

6.       Be involved in every aspect of your child’s life. Make sure you are listed on record at the daycare, doctor’s office, and school. (If you are not on the birth certificate)

7.      If she puts you on child support, request assigned days so she is forced to do her part, or get a written agreement on what days you will have your child.

8.    Before you do any of the above or even stress about being put on child support, get a paternity test.


Of course this only applies when you are a father that takes care of your responsibilities.


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